Friday, April 20, 2012

The New Blogger: Welcome to Bedlam


To say I hate the new blogger is being truthful, and not unkind.

I woke up this morning to discover...just like a lot of bloggers did.....that the interface behind the secret world of blogging had somehow magically changed over night.

And it is not a kind nor a user friendly place to be. Blogger interface is the place where those of us who blog create, edit, load photos, save settings, and finally publish, all of our blog posts that everyone reads ....but not all of you know about.

This morning I apparently went into the back door to a strange new world where everyone but me had been working all night in Cahoots.

I have been in many places, but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go there alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. Apparently, a whole bunch of blogger techies have been in Cahoots for a very long time planning the complete overthrow of my sanity.


I decided I would not get mad, I would get even. I would learn to use the new blogger interface, which is tantamount to learning to speak aloud in Braille because no matter what I do or say or type, I seemed to be in my own world apart from the rest of the blogger interface.

They didn't seem to see me, hear me, sense me, or listen to me. Not one bit of anything I did would work. Do you see these great big spaces? They will not go away, they look normal to me and show up like this. No one is paying attention to me at all back here in blogger interface land.








I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. Blogger has not wanted to recognize me in anyway. They have not recognized me as the owner of this blog who has the right to create simple but well thought out blog posts, filled hopefully with a bit of humor, intelligence, and with a lot of photographs of things I love sharing with others. Today, I seemed to be in Cognito to everyone else who has been completely in Cahoots.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport. You have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my family, friends and those with whom I have worked. And now, thanks to Blogger and all of those genius I.Q. bloggers. I went from in Cahoots, to in Cognito, to totally in Sane.




Now, my closest ex-friends, and family will tell you that I have always been one step on the wrong side of sanity since childbirth. My mother and father claimed I was supposed to be born on Christmas Day, but the doctor had a Christmas party to get to, so he stuck a mask over my mother's face, ordered my father out of the delivery room, and he had my Alaskan father tell him moose hunting stories until the nurse informed the doctor that my mother's pre-medicated early delivery was imminent.





As a result, I was literally born upside down and backwards. Medical professionals refer to that as transverse and breech but I call it the logical conclusion to those who go into Cahoots, force others to be in Cognito, and cause the rest of us to be labeled in Sane.

I would like to go into a lot of Conclusions, here....but you have to jump to those apparently, and I am not in my best physical shape for vigorous activities, anymore. Why? Because after spending 5 hours trying to figure out the new blogger, I couldn't even unbend my body to stand again, and not only did every single part of me moan, groan, and creak but somehow, I finally magically, accidentally, hit some correct button and saw a glimmer of hope in actually creating a post, saving it and finding my way back to my webpage again. I'm not sure, actually I rather doubt I'll ever be able to do this again. So, right now I am typing as if my life depended on it, because it might end up being the only post I'll ever be able to type again.

I have also been in Doubt, like this, before. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. Once you doubt yourself and your ability to do things properly, you are pretty much left in doubt from that point on ...and I hate to be one of those rigid people who is that sure of herself that she knows she will always be in Doubt and not just in Cahoots, in Cognito, or borderline one foot over into in Sane.

Now, I've sat at the computer more hours than that before and I've been in Flexible, before, but only when it was very important to stand firm. It's not my fault that being in Flexible is one of the logical consequences of sitting in a chair for 5 hours staring into a computer monitor while mumbling to myself.




I finally realized at that point, that I was definitely on the verge of being in Coherent. I made myself a cup of hot tea and ate a couple of cookies and thought....you see, you can still take care of business and solve problems after all! I was hungry and I found food and I ate!


Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. But after visiting the home this morning, and knowing that at 62, I was the youngster there and all of the seniors thought I was brilliant, witty, and kept them all at the edge of their seats with my stories. Ok. several of them were falling asleep, it's true, but most of my tall tales did keep a couple of them wondering what I'd say or do, next! And if the others were just trying to escape, they were apparently more in Capable than I was, but as far as I know...I'm the only one who managed to escape. Now, at one point, I did mention taking them all outside tomorrow for wheel chair races..three agreed and two didn't and one of the two was the home health care aide... but now she's in Doubt with the rest of us in Cahoots, and me in Cognito so I at least we have her wondering!

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense. It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart. At my age I need all of the stimuli I can get...so imagine those eighty and ninety year olds! I may have been a bit over the top for all of them, but if you would have seen their grins, you'd know I was better than nothing and did managed to pull three of them out of Depression. Being in Depression, is just about as bad as it can get. Oh wait..there is one more thing....

Now, if I can just avoid getting in Continent. That's the biggest drawback of sitting in one place for far too long, and then finding out you just can't run as fast as you used to. Ask me how I know....yep, the oldsters at the home told me all about it this morning!

You know, now that I think of it, maybe the new Blogger interface isn't really that bad. It might have upset me for most of the day, but I guess really and truly there are some things, and some places that might be worse!


8674 Come and Play
Michele Bilyeu
for sale at the AAQ website
$45

With thanks to the original jokes that this became a parody of and to the blogger techies who just gave me a reason to keep my brain sharp for one more day ;)

POST NOTE WRITTEN THE NEXT DAY:

After hours of searching I found a way to temporarily be allowed to switch back to the old blogger. I then switched from a dot com domain name to my old blogspot site address and reposted, and republished this blog post in order for me to appear in my Follower's Gadget in the sidebar and in sidebar linking lists for blog following.

This will only work until everyone is officially inducted, against their wills, into the New blogger and only because I figured out how to temporarily get the Old Blogger back. The secret for that is to click on the cogwheel on the horrible new dashboard page and then click on 'return to old blogger'. That option will be removed soon...so enjoy it while you can!