Thursday, December 06, 2007

Warning: I am in the Sewing Room Today

I am in my sewing room today. Hopefully, I am sewing. If I am not sewing, then I am thinking about sewing. I have been thinking about sewing for a very long time now. Days in fact.

I thought about sewing on Monday, when my sewing machine meander stitched for 45 minutes, apparently without my input. It looked great on top. I'd show you a picture, but since it takes 75 minutes to unsew 45 minutes of sewing, I forgot to take a picture.

I also forgot to take a picture of what the cats did to the fabric scattered all over the family room floor.The primarily black fabric that now could be described as the black fabric with the alpaca finish. You know, that black fabric that has been loved to pieces by 3 cats when your mind was elsewhere.I decided I won't be making that project this year. Or perhaps, any year, but definitely not this year.

I will also not be making the quilt I was trying to finish. Since I meander, as well as digress, my quilting is either stitch out of the ditch or meandering. My sewing machine doesn't want to do either one right now. She still sews, don't get me wrong. She's not on strike, she's simply on a little Christmas break.

I went into my sewing room. And I began to sniff my fabric. The pheronomes came in. Don't Bother Me, I am Sniffing Fabric Pheronomes Today They surged in, in fact. Or perhaps, they flashed in. Yes, I was all powered up. After all, I am a woman well over the hill of 50 and I am allowed to surge and to flash.

In fact, if you look up "woman at 50", in the search engine you will find:1. Chionepithelioma in a Woman, aged 50 vascular moles in utero in woman at 50. Apparently, that is like being pregnant and having a huge stomach to show for it, but not truly being pregnant because it's truly a mole. A mole???? That's just what I said.
2. Attack of the 50' Woman :a sci fi movie from 1958.
3. Kappa Delta Alumnae Neighborhood , a 50 year old woman who is awe inspiring enough to have been given an award for it.
4. An article from the Journal of American Medicine Does This Woman Have Osteoporosis?
And finally, last but not least, there's me.
5. With Heart and Hands, A Quilting Journey: String Quilting ..... ( Warning: Woman Over 50 With a Rotary Cutter). I am a danger to myself and to others. I am over 50, on a power surge high, not sleeping and ... - 68k - Similar

And yes, that is definitely me. Check me out. Because the other me, she's in the sewing room today. Her stomach is feeling distended, she feels like attacking somebody, she definitely wishes she felt inspired, and with all of the hunching over and unstitching, osteoporosis is probably setting in as we speak. I am still sniffing fabric today, I have a rotary cutter, I am on power surge high and...well you know: Read my Warning Disclaimer!

Seriously, I am a threat? Thank heavens this was a mistake. AOL surely you have bigger fish to fry than little ole me? Yum, something smells it fish frying? Oh, wait...I am in my sewing room today and all of this fabric sure smells fine!


  1. Good luck with the sewing. Thanks for the link, I will have to read up about being over 50!

  2. The terrified sewing machine is giving silent thanks that it cannot be hurt by a rotary-cutter wielding madwoman! It's afraid it will be dropped off a high overpass into a swirling morass of flood waters, and then "saved" by a tribe of 5 year olds who can't wait to play with it. You might mention to it that these things could happen if certain problems aren't corrected post haste.
    Oh, you know there might be a great market for black fabric with an alpaca finish? Or, come to think of it, most quilters in the free world have furry fabric at one time or another just not alpaca and they'd be happy to have some as soon as it's determined to be the next IN thing!

  3. I love your stories. And I feel your pain. How did we get to this plateau? Maybe you can dye the black fabric black? Lol.

  4. You DO have a way with words! I just realized I'm in that Woman over 50 category and I probably have the same symptoms as you do.

  5. Ugh, 45 minutes of unsewing is no fun at all.
    Congratulations on making the search engine list! Ahh, so that's what happened to my stomach, I have a mole. Or should I say, I have moles throughout my body.
    So your sewing machine decided to take a Christmas break. Mine likes to take vacations too! Keep the calendar away from her, and tell her Christmas is over already, and it is time for her to get back to work!
    Take it easy, and I hope things will get back in shape in no time.

  6. Ooooh -- hope you were enjoying your time in the sewing room (don't you hate having to rip out work??!!??). Yeah, that fabric smell gets to you! Love your family decorations (the sun bonnet sues) -- and the story behind them. We've got similar stories as well!

  7. Ooooh -- hope you were enjoying your time in the sewing room (don't you hate having to rip out work??!!??). Yeah, that fabric smell gets to you! Love your family decorations (the sun bonnet sues) -- and the story behind them. We've got similar stories as well!


Michele Bilyeu blogs "With Heart and Hands" as she journeys between Douglas, Alaska and Salem, Oregon.