"Cancer is a disease that is mysterious, headstrong and makes its own rules......and mine, to this date, is incurable. I know that everyone will die eventually, but I do not want to die of this disease.”
Farrah Fawcett may be viewed as some as a victim of a terrible cancer. But after watching Farrah's Story last night, I can only view her as a true spiritual survivor
Farrah's Story is her own personal 3 year documentary of her ongoing struggle with cancer, the tabloids, the theft of her personal records from a hospital, but more over..the inner thoughts, hopes, dreams, and pains of a courageous and loving woman.
"Of all the things I've ever hoped for in my life, finding a doctor to surgically remove my anal cancer did not even make the top one million on my list. But now it was number one, number one as in, primary cancer, meaning it was the first in and for that reason, it needed to be the first out. Because it was this peanut sized tumor that sent its army of mutant cells into my liver. And it would continue to send reinforcements into any organ into my body unless someone did something to stop it"
Hard to watch, especially with tears streaming down my face, but moving and deeply beautiful. I couldn't help but think of all of my own loved ones who have died from variations of this dreadful disease. All of the bedsides that I have sat by, all of the hands that I have held, the tears I have shed and the pain of the families that surround so many.
I think of all that we as ordinary people, try to do...our donations of money or comfort quilts, our prayers sewn into each and every stitch....give away with love and compassion. And I know none of us must ever give up the good fight against cancer, against suffering, against putting self absorption over another's pain.
"She has never given up," best friend Alana Stewart has said during interviews." "What has gotten Farrah through is her faith and her inner strength and her sense of humor, which she still has."
As for Ryan O’Neal, whose has been with her most of the past three decades, he's been back by her side inspite of his own tremendous fear of loss.
"He walks in the room and she just lights up," Stewart said. "If he is not there, she asks for him, but he is there, he is staying with her all the time, and I think he is like her rock of Gibraltar."
Stewart said that she thinks O'Neal would be overcome by the loss of Fawcett. "Well, if and when it happens," Stewart said, "I think he will just be beyond devastated. I really do."
Even more complicated, her overwhelming love of her son, Redmond, who was released from his incarceration in jail, still in leg shackles, long enough to say a distanced goodbye. He crawled into her bed where heavily medicated, it was obvious that only her inner spirit could have known that he was even there.
With a history of repeated drug addiction, Redmond's state of perpetual denial was more than evident, and while he promised to 'kick it, this time' denial like addiction are monsters that often refuse to let go. And he's already had many years 'to do it for her.' Like many of those who desire for drugs overcomes their desire for love or for life, it was poignant in what it didn't show... because of where they both were and were not, at the time. I think that this was the saddest message of all.
Farrah's Story, like Farrah's life seemed like a metaphor..the pains we have all gone through with love and loss, cancers, and addictions, the search for understanding and personal power over betrayal by those often closest to us.
If nothing else, Farrah has achieved what she set out to do. She'll never be forgotten and changes will most likely come to how we view hideous cancers and how we break contracts over money and greed. Even now, facing her last hours, her own business partner is suing her over money from this project.
Perhaps, in the end, Farrah's great love of life and of the people truly closest to her will prevail. Always praying, always faith filled. I think she will simply die as we all do, from life.
Link to 'Farrah's Story":
Be patient while it loads and displays ads...just wait it out! Watch the full documentaryUPDATE:
After an almost 3 year battle with cancer, Farah passed away on June 25, 2009. When asked by Barbara Walters...'how did she die', 'what was her death like' her doctor, quietly answered "She was peaceful, pain free, and surrounded by love. So in that sense, she had a beautiful, beautiful transition."
He added that Ryan O'Neil, her long time love, was by her side, as was Alana Stewart her best friend, the doctor, himself, and one other dear friend who had been helping her. Ryan told her how he felt about her, what she meant to him and to their son, and related humorous stories and memories of their time together. Their son, Redmond, was not able to be released again from prison to say a final goodbye, but did so over two last phone calls and said all that he needed to say.
And he added that Farah was 'someone who could look fear in the face, and conquer it"...and that her legacy will be that she showed us how to 'be as fearless as anyone can be'...that it was not about 'winning the battle' against cancer but overcoming the fear of it.
Farah was a fearless fighter to the end. And now she rests in a final place of peace.
