Sunday, November 04, 2007

What's On Your Bed?


Su Bee asked the blog question "What's On Your Bed?'" Well, frankly, I thought that was a bit personal, but then I've seen Su B in her bath tub, so who am I to talk? Yeah, yeah, look at her hissy-fitting her coffee all over her computer screen now. She knows I know....and so does half of Blogland. We've ALL seen her in her tub (Miss September 2007)! And frankly, I can't say too much about that, since half of you have seen the private goings-on in my tub, too ! But, have you seen what she keeps in her sink? And does the ASPCA know about it????

Now, as to what's on my bed. You did say on, Su Bee? And not what's under? That would be a whole 'nother post and I'm not going there. So, what's on your bed, today? Like I told her, nosy little-big woman that she is, and I quote:

"Su Bee,
I posted 8 posts ago about my bed, you must've been asleep under that quilt woman, and missed mine...I sleep under FIVE quilts. And if hubby is hubby-fussing, he flips his blankets onto me, and then I'm buried under 10. There are three cats in there, too. So, as I toss and turn all night long, sometimes it grows to 15 or 20. And you know how heavy three animals and 20 quilts are. No wonder, I feel like a lead weight by morning!"

Obviously, the photo above is a repeat from my A Quilt Poem post (with the lovely poem about quilts that I'd found). I tossed and turned so much last night, that I can't even find half of my quilts and one of the cats.

However, true to my word, I remembered the Universal, Standard, Daylight Savings and Railroad Time change last night...after all I did an entire post about that...and not one single one of our clocks is re-set yet. Hubby escaped the quilts, the cats, and me, and took his little old momma out to breakfast with his brothers...good sons that they all are. And ladies, you know how it is...he takes off and I do the "hallelulah" dance. And since I didn't get any sleep last night, I have two left feet and three cats under them.

So, I'm stuck here, me and the cats, with this absolute arsenal of analog, digital, computerized, messed up by last weekend's thinking VCR's daylight saving time, my hourglass, egg timer and other time pieces around here. And since I'm the one with absolutely no sense of direction, I DO NOT DARE turn any hands in either direction. I can tell you this, no matter what I would do, no matter how often I might repeat "Spring Forward, Fall Back" I will STILL turn the hands the wrong way.

So, here I am, lost in time... timeless, clueless and major sleep deprived. I couldn't sleep ALL night. I waited and waited and waited for my extra hour and it never came. The neighbors barn burned down... no kidding, it did, and between the 20 quilts, the three cats, the fire sirens an acre away, and the time change...well, no sleep for the wicked, I mean...wise.

I'll try to post again tomorrow when I know what day it is and the smoke clears...the neighbors are fine but a fire is still a fire and even a rickety old building is still a loss....so change your clocks AND change those smoke alarm batteries today!!!

"Sleepless in Salem"

2 comments:

  1. Oh dear - here, have a glass of wine.
    On second thought, a martini. Oh heck, go for the margaritas and make it a pitcher! Boy, if I had that gorgeous room you'd need a court order and a crane to get me out. 45 lbs of quilts and a coven of cats sounds just right for lounging and obsessing about time changes, and besides sleeping is overrated. I gave up and wandered around the house at 2am assulting everything that even resembled a clock, even the ones hiding in the bathtub and under the bed.
    And we will NOT start with what's UNDER the bed! Boogermen and monsters, you know. My cat won't even go under there. Rest assured we would never dast inquire as to the condition of yours.
    Now, draw a deep breath, call a child to come set the clocks and take your margarita outside to a comfy chair. It'll be alright, I promise!

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  2. Hilarious! Absolutely hilarious! And I thought I had a bad night.

    Your bedroom is too pretty. You gotta get it messed up just so, in order to get a good night's sleep.

    And what's with those cats! They are supposed to be guardians of the underbed world! Training, ladies. As with husbands, it's all in the training.

    Pull the shade and get a good nap.

    Blessings,
    Linda H

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Michele Bilyeu blogs "With Heart and Hands" as she journeys between Douglas, Alaska and Salem, Oregon.