Sep 25, 2007

A Quiz: How To Tell If You've Been Abducted By Aliens

It's supernaturally quiet, here in Salem, Oregon. Husband off to work, last child back to her college classes at the University of Oregon, in Eugene. One nice phone call home to let me know how her first day of classes went:

Me: So, how did your classes go, today?
DD#2: Well, my first class was "Intro to Ecology."
Me: So, how was that?
DD#2: Well, it was interesting actually. I'd forgotten how weird some people are and how they will raise their hands and say the strangest things in class.
Me: Such as?
DD#2: Well, the Ecology professor asked us "what we considered to be the greatest ecological factors that will impact our world in the years ahead."
Me: And a student said?
DD#2: Extra Terrestrial Beings
Me: What????
DD#2: Extra Terrestrial Beings, Aliens, Beings from other Planets.
Me: I see.

So, that brings me to today's post:

How can you tell if you've been abducted by aliens?

Check all that apply to you, or that you agree with:

  1. You have unexpected nosebleeds.
  2. You feel like you are always being watched.
  3. You crave citrus fruits a lot.
  4. Your mouth tastes like chemicals or metal.
  5. You wake up crying in the middle of the night for no reason.
  6. You are either obsessed with or scared of aliens.
  7. You feel like you have psychic abilities.
  8. You dream of being operated on.
  9. You have unexpected marks on your body.
  10. You are prone to sleepwalking.
  11. Your ears ring frequently.
  12. You often feel like you are going crazy.
  13. You wake up sore for no reason.
  14. You developed a fear of the dark all of a sudden.
  15. You have memories of feeling paralyzed.
  16. You are easily startled.
  17. You have distant memories of being probed.
  18. You have "lost time" in your life that you can't account for.
  19. You believe that you have seen a UFO.
  20. You have dreams of animals eating you.
  21. You feel like you have a total understanding of the world and a special mission in life.
  22. You have an irrational fear of the dark, open sky, or wooded areas.
  23. You have had an out of body experience.
  24. You see flashes of light that other people don't see.
  25. You are obsessed with the end of the world and huge disasters.

An unusual preponderance of checkmarks indicates the distinct possibility that you have, indeed, been abducted by aliens. And if not officially abducted, than perhaps just had an alien or out of a college classroom.

shown above:
The Pillars of Creation within the Eagle Nebula: a young open cluster of stars in the constellation Serpens, discovered by Jean-Philippe de Cheseaux in 1745-46. This region of active current star formation is about 7,000 light-years distant. The brightest star in the nebula has an apparent magnitude of 8.24, easily visible with good binoculars ;) This view provided by the Hubble Telescope.


atet said...

Um, ok -- way too many of those things I have check marks by -- but, abduction by ailiens?? Not so sure I'm gonna buy that one!

Anonymous said...

lol maybe :\