Home, Sweet Home

Home Wikipedia"A home is a place where a person or family lives, perhaps spends much of their time, or where a person is comfortable being. While a house (or other residential dwelling) is often referred to as a home, the concept of "home" is broader than a physical dwelling. Home is often a place of refuge and safety, where worldly cares fade and the things and people that one loves becomes the focus. Many people think of home in terms of where they grew up, or a time rather than a place."

Two weeks ago, I went 'home'...back to the small island of Douglas, Alaska where I grew up and where I find my refuge, my safety, my roots and my family. It is a place that carries an energy like no other. I walked on this sandy beach, looking at remnants of the old gold mine and surrounded by the water and looking up at the sweeping spanses of mountain views all around, I felt truly protected, truly held and encompassed by the loving neutrality of Mother Earth.

As I celebrated milestones with my mother and father, greeted brothers, sister-in-laws, nieces, nephews and cousins, I couldn't help but reflect on all that 'home, sweet home' implies.

It was not the place, nor the people, nor the activities...it was just 'home' to me. It was my deepest contact and interaction with the core of who I am and who I see myself as being. It was busy and challenging and filled with many healing moments as all of us learned to live together or celebrate together in one large, old house.

I gave my two quilts, the 'mother' quilt, and the 'father' quilt...and they were greatly loved and appreciated. I felt the joy of being able to sew, to quilt and to share that gift with others. Now,I want to sew and I want to quilt. But now I have to find my community spirit again...the one that sews with others for those I will never meet or ever know. I have to reach beyond my own wants and desires to communal ones, to sharing ones for a broader good, again.

So, I will take my 'home' and expand it. I will use what I have been given to give to others. I will make community quilts that will reflect on all that is home...ones that will offer refuge, even safety, ones that will hold and encompass and maybe even protect. Ones that will feel just like family to someone who needs to feel all that I was given during my own visit home. This is the gift and joy of home and it is also the gift of a quilt.

Journeys: North to Alaska!

Journeys and journaling are obviously topics near and dear to my heart. I have spent a life time learning about the paths that lead me to the places I need to be and to the events and the people that I need to experience and to learn from.

I grew up in Alaska, spending my childhood in fern filled rain forests and sandy beaches. I learned to be one with nature and enjoy solitude, listening to the ocean's waves and the hum of the gold ore in the mountains around me. True north became a mysterious compass point and finding my direction a constant struggle. I was in tune with the silent places and the tiny voices that called me to them and them to me. Voices which often drowned out the louder ones of the world that others listened to and kept me in a place that was all of my own.

When I left my home state, first to attend college in Oregon and then to marry and start a new life, I gave up a lot that I had always known and had to learn to appreciate, instead, a different journey and a different path. But my heart still lies in Juneau and the small island of Douglas, where I grew up. The pioneer spirit was instilled, with pride, in all of us. We treasured our own independence and all that came alone with it. So going 'home' means going not only returning to Alaska, but to my deepest roots, as well.


This week, I am blessed with the opportunity to head north...north to Alaska...to join with my large extended family in the celebration of my father's 90th birthday and my mother's fifth year of remission from stage 3b inflammatory breast cancer. Magnificent milestones for proud, honorable and steadfast people. My dear parents who have battled so many of life's challenges and obstacles, continue to battle new one, and are worthy of honoring and recognition.

In their honor..two quilts. For my father, the 'Turning Ninety' quilt of a previous post, based on my variation of a 'Turning Twenty' pattern. Using vintage photos and reproduction fabrics from WW2, I honor his service as a Warrant Officer on a ship in the Aleutian Islands and his own journey of five thousands miles to meet and marry his Cajun French penpal, my mother.

For my mother, a quilt filled with memories to fill her heart with love as it gives her a place to calm her hands and allow them the gentle touch of memories. The transferred photos depict our journey of healing and all of the healers who worked with us, along the way. Living with us for nine months, she, my dad and I faced the challenges with her through weekly chemo treatments, surgery, and then daily radiation. I named this quilt, 'Manifesting Miracles'. I was told that her chances for survival had been less than one percent without all three successfully achieved treatments. We faced them head on and beat the odds, together. She was, and is a living miracle.

Little did we know, what I was already sensing. Memories were beginning to be ever more dear and special for as her vision begin to fade with diabetes, glaucoma, and the the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease, this simple tactile photo quilt became a place of soft memories and gentle, calming touch for her. She loved it so.

And my dad? Perhaps, he almost loved his patriotic memories photo quilt even more. The years of serving his country with courage and honor, of meeting and falling in love with his beautiful French penpal from Louisiana and bringing her north to Alaska to live and raise a family of five children.

They loved their quilts, stroking them, looking up close at the photos, feeling the different fabrics, the quilting, how it was all pieced made them so happy and so proud that I had learned to do this for them. Knowing just how much I loved them. They were dear and special gifts ..for them, for and from me.

And so, I journal, and so I leave for my journey; to connect with my family, to re-connect with my roots. I yearn to hear the ocean's heartbeat, feel the strong northern winds on my face, walk in the snow and listen to the pull of rich metals in the mountain's depths.

I take my quilts with me, grateful for this new medium of expression and of love, shared. I am so thankful that I learned to quilt, however simply it still may be. Grateful that I have learned so much from all of you and have the opportunity for sharing my experiences and my voice. I will be back in two weeks, stronger and more grounded, filled with new memories, but missing two dear people and two more of my quilts!

Epiphany: The Manifestation of the Gifts

January 6th, Epiphany:
In the historical referencing of Christianity, Epiphany is the holy day for recognizing the manifestation of God through the journey of the three wise men, or magii, bearing their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh, as they followed the light of the Star of Bethlehem, to their revelation and understandings of, the Christ child. The journey towards the light, the magic of that revelation, and the power of the gift, itself are all then, seen as their own 'Epiphany', or manifestation of God or God's gifts.

As a feeling, an epiphany is a sudden realization or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something. It is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify receiving new information or having an experience that illuminates a deeper understanding. To 'have an epiphany' is to have a 'wow' or 'aha' moment. Suddenly, every thing is crystal clear, seen, understood or recognized.

I long for aha moments. But I am grateful for any gifts, in any manifestation, that I receive. :) Here, a photo of three gifts that I received for Christmas from my oldest daughter. A 'turkey tail' broom for wood stove ashes, a water hyacinth bowl for gathering, and a beautiful little beaded star. I shall use them to cleanse away the old, gather up the abundance of the new and to wish upon, always.

Window Between My Worlds

I live in many worlds at the same time. If you ask my three children, they will surely tell you that I am rarely in this one. Instead, I am caught up in many different dimensions at once. Dimensions of thought, of experiencing, and even of being. Like most quilters, I daydream. And often that daydreaming takes me so deeply into my other world, that I almost forget to live in this one. Today, I spent the entire day working on my next quilt.

I can honestly say that I do not remember one single conversation that one single family member had with me. My family was in and out all day long. Friends came in and out, our three cats were up to all kinds of mischief but I cannot recall exactly what happened today...

I simply was lost in thought. Deep thought, endless thought, some very sad and missing and lonely thoughts, some filled with planning and hopefully, creative thoughts...but what I might have thought about, I surely do not know. I did, however, get my 'mother's basket of fabric' quilt all planned out. I managed to get my transfers made, ironed onto their backing blocks and layed into various positions. And if Blogger would only let me, I will soon have photos to prove it!

Instead, I offer this image....my daydreaming window of opportunity. The window I look across the room at, when I am sitting at the computer. The window I am looking up at, when I am down on the floor...laying out my fabric. The same window that I sit by on my little meditation stool... when I am not so deep in daydreaming, that I can honestly call it meditating.

Today, I simply daydreamed. I was, indeed, totally absorbed and totally lost between my worlds. Later, I shall have to apologize for not remembering conversations or to answer questions or to make comments on things that must surely have been discussed.

But somehow, there is a new little quilt all laying out on the floor. Patiently waiting to greet me in the morning...waiting for another day of daydreaming...and maybe even...a little more quilting.

The NeverEnding Cycles of Renewal

As I taste the bittersweetness of the end of one year and the exciting possibilities of the first day of a new one, I am feeling so many different emotions at once. It is hard to take down the tree and put away all of the little decorations that I love so much. It's hard to unwind the swags, clean up the wreaths and replace everything with something else.

So, I play my music, and I putter and place and I am reminded of the spiral that you can see here in this lovely basket from Uganda. It was a Christmas gift from my youngest daughter. The spiral, like yin and yang, like the light and the dark, swirls and blends and mutates along its path from one element, one stage to another. Because, it is handmade and a fair trade item as well, I am able to feel the cycle of balance within its cycles and circles, even more. There is a trio of steps in this process, a trinity, if you will, of united balance. The one who created, the one who gave and the one who received.

Our lives, too, are like spirals. We live within the constant context of change...the neverending cycle of renewal. So today, I take down the old, and usher in the new, I will allow myself to grieve the loss of the old, but welcome with an open heart..the many blessings of the new.

I allow myself to be nurtured by the songs, by the gifts and I see myself as part of the cycle. I am grateful for the gift, for the giving and for this New Year's Day.