Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Window Between My Worlds



I live in many worlds at the same time. If you ask my three children, they will surely tell you that I am rarely in this one. Instead, I am caught up in many different dimensions at once. Dimensions of thought, of experiencing, and even of being. Like most quilters, I daydream. And often that daydreaming takes me so deeply into my other world, that I almost forget to live in this one. Today, I spent the entire day working on my next quilt.

I can honestly say that I do not remember one single conversation that one single family member had with me. My family was in and out all day long. Friends came in and out, our three cats were up to all kinds of mischief but I cannot recall exactly what happened today...

I simply was lost in thought. Deep thought, endless thought, some very sad and missing and lonely thoughts, some filled with planning and hopefully, creative thoughts...but what I might have thought about, I surely do not know. I did, however, get my 'mother's basket of fabric' quilt all planned out. I managed to get my transfers made, ironed onto their backing blocks and layed into various positions. And if Blogger would only let me, I will soon have photos to prove it!

Instead, I offer this image....my daydreaming window of opportunity. The window I look across the room at, when I am sitting at the computer. The window I am looking up at, when I am down on the floor...laying out my fabric. The same window that I sit by on my little meditation stool... when I am not so deep in daydreaming, that I can honestly call it meditating.

Today, I simply daydreamed. I was, indeed, totally absorbed and totally lost between my worlds. Later, I shall have to apologize for not remembering conversations or to answer questions or to make comments on things that must surely have been discussed.

But somehow, there is a new little quilt all laying out on the floor. Patiently waiting to greet me in the morning...waiting for another day of daydreaming...and maybe even...a little more quilting.

4 comments:

  1. Meditation & the term Cabbalah were two words in my alliterative resolve which detailed my consciousness w/ deepness as an aside. We are naturally affable, plain et cetera, but our condition gives us cause to yield to an expression of it to compartmentalize, apprehend this thing that moves us. In the end, again deepness is an aside, because thought is a product of angst i.e. fear--fear that we haven't considered OUR truth. Truth can be an obstacle to the now, because sometimes we can only digest particially an absolute--no matter how bad we want solvency. Peace out...

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  2. Thank you for a most thoughtful and potentially provocative comment :) One of the reasons for this post is my own affably presented, somewhat plain, attempt to allow my own self to separate from its normal operating state of angst and to allow thoughts to simply arise. As they arise, I do tend to compartmentalize them...as a means of creating my own awareness of myself as witness to those understandings. And you are absolutely correct, truth can be an obstacle. For a quilter, you see, we have only our own flow, our own way of creating solvency within the process of creation. Our truth, ultimately, is in the quilt. It lies in the very fabric of our lives as represented by the cloth, the filling, the stitches that hold and tie and bind them together. We quilt...therefore we are ;) Thank you, Scott, for commenting, I appreciate it.

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  3. Oh my goodness, how well put, and I desperately want to go 'there' at times but somehow get 'caught' in the 'awareness' and it blocks out my window...

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  4. Don't worry, Angie...you are actually already 'there' are you wouldn't have even understood a word of any of this :) Just quilt...the hhhhhmmmm takes you there ;)

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Michele Bilyeu blogs "With Heart and Hands" as she journeys between Douglas, Alaska and Salem, Oregon.