Showing posts with label humor. Oregon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Oregon. Show all posts

Sunday, May 01, 2022

Preparing for May Day 2022

The month of May 2019 started with a wild snort and a snuffle and an unexpected guest invading our home.

It was more of a May Day! May Day! than I'd ever imagined.

Little did I know that my house would turn into a bed and breakfast for some caged escapees and my house a pigsty.

This little pig tale began early in the morning as I heard a noise, glanced out the door and was startled by this charmer.

We don't entertain many house guests out here in our looney boonies other than family. And this one was a bit of a boar as far as guests go and didn't have much to say.

Before I could grab for my phone to call back up, he made himself right at home! After a quick tour through my house and finding no breakfast on the table (or even on the stove) he lost interest in my decorating style (well worn vintage) and more interested in my patio door and greener pastures.

He allowed an armed escort, as in my arms raised and wildly waving and me calling out "here piggy piggy" and finally "sue-y sue-y" or however I thought you were supposed to call pigs to come to you (my apologies to anyone named Sue)and yes, he headed out our back door.

Now, I've written extensively over the past decade of how animals love me. I've even blogged about one little Pomeranian who'd traveled 5 miles after being spooked by 4th of July Fireworks going off at nearby Volcano Stadium. Traveling from a Primrose Farm in Brooks not far from I-5 and down fields and farms and down a hodge podge of country roads to our house seeking refuge.

Stray or abandoned cats, dogs, discarded Easter bunnies, goats, a cow calming eating our entire garden and once I looked out onto our back deck to see a huge horse with his nose pressed against my living room window.

And there have been countless raccoons and possums glaring scary eyes at me in the dark as Inpeered out at weird noises on that same back deck. One night I saw a pack of three wild marauding dogs out in the pitch dark, casing out our chicken coop trying to break through the chicken wire. And then a few weeks later, a coyote leaping, pushing, and clawing at their coop door as well

We're a strangely popular night spot.

I clashed pots and pans lids to scare that coyote off. (I've learned to keep protective noise makers handy). The sight of me in red polka dot pajamas running at him (I'm sleep deprived and not in my right mind any time but especially at night) screaming and clashing pot lids at him had him off and running in a hurry!

My husband claimed he'd probably ran all the way to Silverton (5 miles away) before taking a a single breath. This after my clink and a clatter had him (the husband) jolting awake and ready to grab a gun and defend his hearth and home. (He was just surprised no one had called Noise Control on me!)

But this pig was cut (so to speak) from a different hide. Really, really friendly he was more of a high quality silk purse kind of a fellow.

After a small snack of frozen corn, he was happy to follow me into our fenced chicken field and eat chicken food pellets and cracked corn courtesy of Duke, our rooster and his girls, our chicken harem of Ping, Priscilla, Hazel, Nellie, Esther, Milly, and Clementine.

The chickens were not too happy watching as this pig consumed their personal food supply. They lined up at the fenceline and flew up on the gate in self defense and vocal protest.

After all I am ALSO the blogger who's posted about my own chickens sashaying into my dining room and out again! Oh the life I lead!

Historically, May Day is not just about pagan rites of Spring and leaving flowers at doors. It is also about the commemoration of the struggle for fair labor practices and the Haymarket Affair of 1886. We had hay, we had piggies refusing to go to market and all of the hullabaloo was quite an affair!

We had a struggle of the species and the invasion of their chicken dance hoe and hay down and their fervent wish that this little piggy eat roast beef not their cracked corn, go to market, or at least cry all the way his own home, not theirs.

By early evening, our greatly spoiled pig guest had broken out, flew the coop and disappeared.
Without a break in any fence that we could see, he'd somehow flew the coop and proved the whole "when pigs fly " story entirely possible.

However, by mid-morning of May 2nd, he was back. He decided this was a five star b abd b after all. and he not only wanted more, he apparently sent out a pig song through the pig airwaves to call his tribe over for a visit.

Within 5 minutes he was joined by his brother, within 10 minutes they were joined by 2 sisters.

It was wild and crazy chaos. Four large, pigs all desperate for attention, scratching, and food. They loved us and if they hadn't been so big, such voracious eaters and far too many at once, we might have adopted the one who'd already gotten close to us inside and out.

But alas his little love affair with us was not meant to be. It was obvious they were on the loose and eventually would be found out and I was pretty sure the food and clean up was going to end up on us.

Our only evidence of its previous houseguests being rather large dark brown to black "cigar" shaped parting gifts. And while their tokens adorned our fields and flower bed, thankfully none were left as house warming gifts.

Moral of this story:

All's well that ends well.
The owner eventually showed up and while his idea of a pigsty was more of a reality than ours as he had more pigs yet at home and hadn't even noticed anything awry much less missing.

And our abode at least returned to its somewhat more peaceful and buccolic natural state of chick, chick, chick and "green acres is the place to be, farm living is the life for me" least for our chickens!

And all I can add to this curly tail of 3 days of phew was a final adieu......

Other Pig Visitations

When Pigs Fly

Chickens and Pigtails

Green Acres

 Here You Come Again

And because I believe in Paying It Forward

So on the various days I Google my own name just in case I missed anything I've been up to (I am the woman who almost never sleeps) I also discovered before Easter long ago I was in various denominations Sunday Sermons! I loved that! I mean isn't that loverly?

And the most interesting places I found me included this:

Follow Michele Bilyeu blogs *With Heart and Hands* with Blogger's Friend Connect or Feedspot!

Started at #32/last at #44 out of the top 100 quilting blogs! So scroll down their list to see who is there before me then click on my blog link when you see it to come back and read about even more!

And well over 10 million views!

Michele Bilyeu Creates With Heart and Hands as she shares her imaginative, magical, and healing journey from Alaska to Oregon. Creating, designing, sewing, quilting, and wildcrafting... from my heart and with my hands.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Green Acres.....

.... .is the place to be......

Farm living is the life for me...

(Song from the an old tv show, all you young'uns..)

We're 'country folk' as my mother used to say. We live out in the 'country'. And with all that peaceful living comes all kinds of unpeaceful problems and a an awful lot of uninvited quests.  There are opossums and families of raccoons that show up every night and make strange noises as they come across the back deck hoping for left over.... and still left food. 

There are owls and coyotes hooting and howling. There are buzzards and hawks and little pairs of morning doves all doing their best to balance out the yin and the yang of country life. A life that 40 years ago gave us acres with only one other house in sight.... and they were our best has many houses, many fences, many yards, and many animals of all kinds. 

We've had horses that broke through neighboring fences and came visiting. One climbed up on our back deck and all most gave us a heart attack when we glanced up and saw his big old snoot looking in at us through the window. That one loved us so much he refused to go home! He hung around for days, as did his predecessors throughout the years. Eventually some one misses them and they come looking but by then, they've eaten us out of house and home and made it tricky for the our dogs and cats to go outside.  Dogs want to bark and cats either want to run away, or the brave ones walk right under the horse hoofs and scare us!
We've had cows break through the same neighbor's fence, that ate all of the growing crops in our garden and trampled it so badly, the neighbor apologized by giving us a antique 'rake' ....the big old kind that you pull behind a tractor....that I had coveted for years.....rusty old thing that it was...I wanted it as' country yard art' and while it is covered with climbing ivy,now...I still love that falling apart old thing!

We've had entire families of deer that came day after day, and while they ate our garden, as well, we loved them enough to buy and put out a salt lick for them. We had  a pygmy goat that stayed for an entire week, even with our paper plate sign down by the road announced he was found.... but could something identify themselves, please,as having lost him?
We had a pedigreed apricot poodle who stayed for three solid days that I truly loved and wished we could have kept. His desperate owners finally saw that sign and told us he was his owners 'baby' and was named Beau, and boy, oh boy, were they happy to have him back.
We've had cats and dogs too numerous to mention that were dropped off as throwaways, or ones that simply live off the kindness of strangers and stopped by for meals. We took in three or four of them and fed the others as ferals and strays as long as they were around.

But this was a first. 
  A 200lb pig was on our deck last week, staring through the same living room window from the deck.
Now, he might now have been as big as the horse that stood in the same place on the back deck a couple of decades ago but still..he was a pig. 

And pigs are so darn strong and so determined that they can break through anything but an electric fence and so heavy that you don't dare try to shoo them off and if they charge..well, you're the one that needs to run. 

We'd heard that two of them from down the road escape periodically and ravage the neighborhood gardens. So, in spite of telling me to stay back, my hubby decided to chase this one away. He (the pig, not my husband) made a mad dash for the chicken coop and not wanting it trashed, the husband picked up one of the golf balls we keep out there as fake eggs to make the chickens want to lay more, and threw it at the pig to chase it away.  

 The pig ate the golf ball.

I said, " I wonder what that will do to him? He won't be able to 'pass' it will he?" 

Well, needless to say, after the chase and the throw and the lost of one of our golf balls, Mr. B didn't care what happened to the pig as long as he went home. So, he threw another one and hit the poor porker who finally decided this man meant business and headed next door, instead.
But guess what ?  Now, its our chickens. DH calls up to me in my sewing loft that our chickens are lined up again at the living room window, it's raining outside and they are not one bit happy. 

I run to get my camera to take their picture when what to my wondering eyes should appear.....two pigs are out in the back INSIDE the chicken coop. It's raining,the chickens are ready to in..but strangers have taken over the coop !

I yell.."There's two pigs in our chicken coop!" Now, the husband ( without looking) says "No, there's not."  Then he looks. Yep. Now, we have not ONE, but TWO pigs..... and they are inside the chicken coop... and they are eating our chicken feed! 

One of the pigs gets startled when the husband yells at him and he (the pig, not the husband)  reared up in too big of a hurry ) and  gets his head stuck inside the feeder's metal cylinder.  See him on the left inside his cylinder of a feeder? It was really, really stuck too! 


The husband is yelling, and clapping his hands thunderously,  as he charges the coop, screaming like a crazy man chasing wild pigs on the loose.  The once startled, but now scared... and running for his life pig...completely gets his pig head stuck in the 'iron mask' of the feeder and Leonardo Dicaprio, he is not.   This pig is completely beside himself with terror. 
 He can't decide which is worse, a stuck pig head or a maniacal human determined to do him him and have pork for dinner!

Somehow, two of them get chased off ....and one of them.....luckily the one in the plaid shirt......survives the exchange.

And it's no wonder our chickens would rather hang out with us than their own coop!

I'm getting my camera ready with a new sd card and fresh batteries.  I'm pretty sure THREE pigs will be back next time and all of them will now be wanting plaid shirts, instead!

When Pigs Fly


"The month of May started with a wild snort and a snuffle and an unexpected guest invading our home.

It was more of a May Day! May Day! than I'd ever imagined.

Little did I know that my house would turn into a bed and breakfast for some caged escapees and my house a pigsty....."     read the rest of that looonngg adventure @

Michele Bilyeu blogs With Heart and Hands as she shares a quilting journey through her life in Salem, Oregon and Douglas, Alaska and all of her AAQI Quilting. Sharing thousands of links to Free Quilt and Quilt Block Patterns and encouraging others to join in the Liberated Quilting Challenge and make or donate small art quilts to the Alzheimer's Art Quilt Initiative (AAQI) Help us change the world, one little quilt at a time!