Apr 25, 2011

I Want To Go Home: For the AAQI

6598 – I Want to Go Home
(sold/$75 donation to AAQI)
 
Michele Bilyeu
Salem Oregon/Douglas Alaska
Width: 12" Length: 9"
Materials/Techniques: Original design with free cut and fused cottons, raw edge appliqué, thread painting and beadwork.
Artist Statement: My mother would wake up every morning and go to sleep every night in our Alaskan childhood home that she had lived in for almost 60 years. She would always say the same thing:

"I want to go home."

 When we told her "This is your home!”

 She would always say "It sure doesn't look like my home! Everything is all crazy and mixed up!" 

 She is still being cared for at home and it is still crazy and mixed up. Once the chaos of Alzheimer's enters your home, nothing is ever the same again.

Michele Bilyeu
Dedication: In memory of the 14 members of my family who have already passed with Alzheimer's and related dementias, and in honor of my mother who still does her best...each and every day, in her crazy and mixed up world..
This quilt has Fast Finish Triangles.

This quilt earned $75 for AAQI.

Note from Michele:
It's always delightful to learn that someone has purchased one of my AAQI quilts before it ever made it to the web page or auction block.

I am honored and delighted that it earned $75 for the Alzheimer's Art Quilt Initiative....and never more so than when I am actually up in Douglas, Alaska actively caring for my mom with her advanced Alzheimer's.

This little story quilt depicts my childhood island home in Alaska... with its mountains, birds, valleys, and our lovely Sandy Beach where we actually play in the sand, and find starfish and seashells. When our Taku winds blow, our houses sway, our rooftops can even fly off. It gives others the chance to know what our home feels like inside and out..... without or without any wind.

Alzheimer's disease tears apart the fabric of so many lives and stretches and bends us all to our limits of sanity. Our respite come from contact with nature and the quiet places within that give us deep solace. We learn to bend with the winds of time and change and learn that we are all part of a greater cycle.

I am 'home' with my mother no matter where I am, she is, or where she 'thinks' she is. And it's always so very good to truly be home.

Apr 20, 2011

Shaman Island: Alaska


There is a mystical, magical place off the northern coast of Douglas Island that is accessible at very low tides from the cove just south of the area known as Outer Point.

The island's steep rocky shores quickly rise from sea level to ~40 feet and one can see eagles and birds of all kinds upon the rocky beaches. The beaches are rocky and slippery with small shells, seaweed, mosses and tide pool life.


My sister-in-law, Paula and I walked out on the peninsula-like spit as far as we could and used our binoculars to see the small spiraling sand piper like birds as they feasted on the tiny critters our own eyes could not quite see.

It was an overcast day, but brightly lit from within by nature's beauty and the rejuvenating glow from they sky, water, and mountains on either sides of the channel. And while the temperature was mild,
we were quite chilled by the water's edge.


Here, I was actually wearing three tops, two coats (1 underneath one meant for kayaking and 1 on top of insulated down) , long fleece underwear, snow pants, gloves and boots and it is already April! (I've lived in Oregon too long ;)

My pony tail quickly fell out of my hat and down my back as you can see above.....I'm lucky an eagle didn't grab it (and me) and hoist me up and away!

My sister-in-law, shown above, is almost never cold, so she gave me her outer coat! She makes me laugh. There is a natural spontaneity of play between us that is always present and available to me even during the most challenging or depressing of work filled days and care giving.

After a thermos of hot tea and a ripped up and shared baguette of bread, we played our flute-like recorders, read from a book of poetry to the sun, the sea, the sky, and the swirling birds, and then packed up our belongings with freezing fingers to head back onto the boardwalk path as we hiked back to our parked car ...me lagging behind with our two canine companions and finding my usual collection of sticks and stones, lichen and moss, and all the wildcrafting gifts of nature that I so treasure :)

Care givers need respite and renewal and never more than when caring for a loved one who so often cannot talk or give back to them in any visible way. I am grateful to be here with my mother and to make a difference in her life, but it is a kind of challenging awful at the same time.

We are exhausted from the hours upon hours of cleaning out of the attic,basement, bedrooms and many, many closets and dresser drawers as we prepare the house for another brother and his family to move in when I leave once again. We have organized and cleaned, packed up and given away, cried and remembered, shared and bemoaned the changes in all of our lives, and most of all the losses in the lives of my mother as she struggles to cope with deeply advancing Alzheimer's and the tangled and subconscious loss of my dad last August.

We are all forever changed and changing and trying to make sense every day of all that is senseless and without reason, or reasoning. Forever, trying to find the energy to keep going...again and again, with so much daily work and so much intense personal care required. Those of us who try, and those of us who do it all, are often drained to our core.

It was wonderful to escape for one afternoon, to get out of a dark house filled with so much work and out into the bright light and fresh air of the childhood land that I so love.

Thank you for the gift of such a good day, a good friend and sister in heart and spirit, lovely bread and tea, and a wonderful hike into the beauty of Alaska's natural world.

I will forever be grateful for this day.

Apr 15, 2011

Making Pieced Curves (My Color and Design Class with Jean Wells)


New link for this post:
 http://with-heart-and-hands.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-color-and-design-class-with-jean.html

After seeing Jean Wells at our quilt guild in March, I jumped at the chance to get 1 of just 4 seats left in her quilting class...seats that were added in at the last minute when Jean realized how large our rented space was. I did not have time to purchase fabrics or needed supplies and her book was sold out all over town. It just took a leap of faith to sign up and show up early the very next morning. And I'm so glad that I did!

The other 20 quilters had read her book "Intuitive Color and Design" and I had not yet purchased a copy, so I really did have to rely on my own intuitive abilities and not on understandings of how she quilted, or taught, or on any my reading of her book, or the learning or practice that came out of that...as I could see all around the room in others ;)

And while Jean is an excellent teacher, she truly does not tell you how to do the creative things or how to understand things but to simply learn by looking at what she has done and creating your own way of process. She gave us some truly excellent tips and ideas about looking at the world of nature around us and translating it into the feeling if not the actual reproduction in quilt form.


Just look at her drawings of trees and how those trees can change and evolve...drawing by drawing into abstract design.



She showed us some fabulous examples of her own works in progress and what fun to see those. Above she shows the back of a piece used to surround a front of a double layered quilt. You can see the sleeve at the top and a decorative piece for the back at the bottom.

Here are her favorite 'stripes' done from her curved piecing and insert techniques.


What I found most interesting...all of her quilts look worn, even a bit faded, and Jean is often asked if she pre-washes her fabric. She never has, and still doesn't. Yet, that's how her quilts all look....like they have been touched, and fondled, and almost become a part of the natural world all on their own!



Above is Jean's class sample that she did not show us until all of our classwork below was finished. She wanted us to truly work intuitively...not copying her or seeking to please her, but to make it our own. Once we saw her work above, of course, it gave us so many additional ideas. The class members who managed to find and buy her book ahead of time had such an advantage over me as they had already explored the basic concepts.


On the other hand, I felt lucky to be sewing 'cold' and using intuitive piecings every single step of the way...that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it ;) Above is my own curved piecing strips in process.



Our first curved piecing exercise (as seen above, double click to enlarge in Picasa album) used up a big chunk of our strips so we realized then that what was 'left' was more important than what we had first selected and as our instructions were...make 9 blocks of 9 patches each. One block is light center, dark logs; one is dark center, light logs...etc. etc....each new instruction and direction urged our own intuitive choices to grow more confident...we had no fabric and no time for redoing at all, no matter what!

And she did give us two handouts...one on intersecting lines (back in Oregon with my fabric and sewing machine) one on tips for creating curved piecing using random cuts with a rotary cutter in curved shapes....note how you cut two at once(one on top of the other) with random curved rotary cutting and then flip and sew the two together for perfect piecing. This is how you also make tiny insert strips that often look like curved piping...you just do it smaller!

She had our class make intuitive 9 patches. Without knowing what we would be doing...she had us come up and select 5 color strips from a table piled high with many, many solids. I picked jewel toned brights, but many picked her own favorites of desert tones and they were beautiful later on when we discovered that our five choices plus one more..would be all we could use in our class project. She supplied the fabric strips and we simply paid her $3...no other fabrics we brought in could even be used.


It actually took a long time to make the blocks above with so little actual fabric available to us, and she walked around and gave suggestions. Mine was...'you may be only making 6 blocks or maybe even 4.' She could tell by my colors and how I had used them in the curved learning piece how little I would have left and how hard it would be for me to come up with the necessary lights and darks required but not known about in advance. Somehow I managed!

And while my jewel tones, might have been a bit typical in choice for me, they reflect my own spirit and desire for bright colors and richness in my life and I loved picking and sewing with them!

Jean went around the room looking at our design boards and then called out that our time was up. And then she went around the room discussing what she saw in each of our work. Here are the others blocks from the class as she points out different ideas about each of them.



In reality, the limitation of fabric and time created a natural abundance because we had to decide, had to quickly choose, had to cut and sew spontaneously without worry or decision changing. One 'mistake' and we would not have enough fabric or time, so nothing could be a mistake, every thing was an opportunity for another "creative opportunity."



Look at the colors and imagine if you had only 5 colors to choose in a few seconds what you would have picked and how you might have put them together!






Many used their original curved piecing block out of necessity as well as creative choice and our version of 'light' or 'dark' changed quickly, as well.

Some of us had too little variation of lights and darks and suddenly we realized how choices we made in a hurry could affect the color and design of our pieces later...so every direction she made for us to do, and every piece of fabric or choice of fabric that we selected created definite outcomes in our collective sense of color and design and the future of each of our pieces!









Here is mine again (jewel tones, below) after I got home again and had a bit of time to cut up my curved piecing sample (as others had to) in order to have enough strips left to make the final 3 blocks. I'll rearrange them no doubt when I get back to Oregon, again. But for now, I'm just thrilled that I managed to make all 9 blocks out of my selected strips. I don't think Jean thought I could do it once she saw my color choices in value etc. but I was a determined lady ;)



I can't remember all of the comments and there was no time to take notes...we were sewing as fast as we could but we truly did have a ball.

I do remember Jean telling us that making a quilt is like writing a novel. You know who your main characters are, but you're not sure yet how the plot will develop. Well, the plot weakens, thickens, and then if you're lucky it all comes together in the end!

It was great fun seeing everyone's color choices, though we all felt we needed to justify them in the beginning..haha.

Jean seemed to love the unusual choices such as this one below..which she called 'fashion colors'. So, we all learned from her reaction to these colors that black and white can be striking choices in amidst what many might see as pastels, when alone.



All in all, it was a great class, but working so quickly and from instant choices from 9 am to 3 pm...I noticed each and every class member put in a full day of creativity and we all went home truly tired (ok, every single person said exhausted ;) but very happy!

Jean Wells Quilts...see her fabulous quilts that I got to see up close and in person. Phenomenal!!!

Apr 12, 2011

Jean Wells Quilts


The amazingly talented Jean Wells - Quilt Artist, Author, and Instructor came as our Mid-Valley Quilt Guild's guest speaker and she brought with her such an unbelievable assortment of quilts, both finished and in progress ,that it was almost overwhelming that one woman can be, and do all that!

For any of you not familiar with Jean, she began quilting about 41 years ago and opened the now famous quilt shop "Stitchin' Post" in Sisters, Oregon...which is a kind of charming Western themed town that holds the world famous "Sisters Outdoor Quilt Show" the second Saturday in July.



The year she opened her store was the first year of the quilt show......she's obviously an achiever and not afraid to try new things! That year they showed 17 quilts...now they show over a thousand and it is considered a quilter's dream vacation to attend the show.



Jean does the most intricately pieced modern interpretations of quilts straight out of nature and the love she has for the beautiful area she lives and works in, both as a quilt artist and as a designer.




The also famous Karla Alexander (who is a member of our guild) greeting Jean and holding up some of her quilts until others came in and helped as well...it's always a treat when Karla is able to come to our meetings but it was truly special seeing the bond Oregon quilters/authors have with each other.
The other volunteers took turns displaying them on stage and then parading them around our group of 150 morning quilters so we could see them up close and personal...and Jean told us 'feel free to touch them!" We are such a big group, we have an evening session as well. All together we have way over 350, may be more... quilters in our guild.




For more background information on the Sisters Quilt Show that Jean began all those years ago, I'll include links to all of my previous posts on the show and on the quilting dignitaries such as Gwen Marston and Freddy Moran, and the ladies of Gee's Bend among dozens of others that not only teach classes, but display their newest quilts every year.

And for cool ideas from my class with Jean, check out:
My Color and Design Class with Jean Wells

My previous links:
Photos and Post Sisters OR Quilt Show 2007-2009
Sisters OR: The Little Town With a Big Heart
Freddy and Gwen: In Sisters Again!

Apr 7, 2011

Making a Baby Quilt: Japanese Strip Noodles



I am now on my island in Alaska in the my childhood home caring for my little 85 year old mama and doing my best to make her laugh, exercise her tiny arms and legs gently, and get her to eat enough during the day to keep her from losing any more weight.

Last night we have leftover spaghetti in a softly warmed tortilla shell. Tuck in the bottom, roll the spaghetti up inside and she can hold it herself and eat bite by bite. She did really well and finished it all off. Than a sugar fee 'ice cream on a stick' for dessert and many sippee cups of ice water to prevent dehydration. Her tongue an lips are bright purple and they make us laugh..,.but that is from eating two big bluebery pancakes with sugar free berry jam for breakfast. With a little sugar free energy milkshade...she is fulled of and and ready to face a new day.

While most of her days are spent sleeping, we move her arms and legs for physical therapy. Bend in, bend out...stretch!!!! Touch your head, touch your nose, where is your mouth? Good job, mama!

Each contact, each conversation, each and every connection is so good for her and for us. When she first greeted me, I announced with my big hug....

"It's your daughter, Michele, come back to give you a great big hug and a smooch."

"Oh" she said she laughed.

"Did they tell you I was coming?"

"Yes, they did and I said...you will have to introduce us, again. It's been a long time"

Then we both laughed. It is still so amazing to all of us that she will occasionally say these wonderfully witty and quite long sentences. And they all delight us with their charm.

I was here in August and September for my father's passing and 7 months is a long time to miss my mama and have her miss me. Yet time is not relative to her, it comes and in goes in a heartbeat. But there are also times when the heart connection has to stretch out across our thousand miles to connect us. I can feel her and know how she is, and she often feels me and talks about it.

Each trip is $800 to $1,000 for a ticket and they add up quickly, trip by trip and year by year and it is very hard. This year a brother and SIL paid for my way and I am so very grateful. My SIL and I have been cleaning drawers and closets...room by room. We are preparing the house for a brother and his family to move in when I leave again.

My mother can never be left alone. Even though she cannot walk, or roll over, we can not take any chances that something else could happen unexpectedly within the house and harm her. So, round the clock, someone is always here. But we clean and we putter, we do the laundry and prepare simple meals and always we are touching base with her and giving her a kiss and making her wake up enough to connect and to laugh. It is such a blessing when has an awareness back and talks to us as she is spoken to.

She is healthy, we take good care of her, she is not yet qualifying for hospice help, so we do our best. Three brothers, me the only daughter, their sister, and two sister-in-laws that do as much as we can...and we make it work. It is hard, it can get very confusing and towels and washcloths and adult diapers, and medications can be set in new places without thinking and we have to search and refind and organize things and lists and shopping, each and every new day.

Grandogs come and go, a beautiful great grand baby comes and fills the house with giggles and grins and we try to bring joy in as much as possible to override the challenges and our own exhaustion.

We do it all and we do it together and as each day is done and a new one begins...we know that we are simply a part of the cycle of life. You can live your connective link with resentment and anger or you can live it with joy and gratitude :)

shown above:
I finished the Japanese Noodles quilt from the last weekend in Oregon.
With the spirit and intent for the healing of the land of Japan...it will be giving to a baby of Japanese descent within the loving and extended cultural circle of our family in Anchorage. I It will fly away in the arms of love, land and touch ground at its place of 'anchorage' and provide the warmth and the love of our family down here in the Juneau area, to those farther north as we share in the joy and delight of new birth.

My way of extending the healing energies of love for empathy, love, and acceptance of all. Monies donated to the Red Cross in Japan, but a quilt that can be more easily delivered here just heartbeats across the ocean waves to a family that is blending the healing energies we so needed to heal after the battles between nations. Blessings to all of the Japanese peoples and may you feel all of our love and kinship.

"Japanese Noodles" made simply in a an uneven 'noodles' quilt pattern. Just cut and piece varying widths of fabric and it makes a lovely but quick to make little quilt.

Apr 5, 2011

Tripflashing: Oregon to Alaska Again


One day I am leisurely pinning and sewing a quilt together... and the next day I am the quilt sandwich.

I went from a Saturday of playing with my blocks from my class with Jean Wells and getting the last two of them finished, to frantically trying to finish this baby quilt on Sunday. It was all pieced and had a back, but it needed to be completely pinned and then machine quilted, a binding made, and attached, and I only had one day to do it in. A day that also required another huge list of things to do, as well. But...quilting first.. after all, I have my priorities!

I will finish the last bits of it in Alaska...day after tomorrow. Yes, back to Alaska again!

And no, my mother is fine, and as stable as anyone with advanced Alzheimer's can be...but I am needed to be the 24 hour a day in home caretaker during a transition period.

The nephew who was living there has had to leave and so now all of us had to step up the tempo and our own contributions from our usual all day 'in and out' of the house care, (and in my case, state in, state out care) to someone having to be there at absolutely all times, round the clock.

A brother and his family will move in to live after I leave and the rest of us will still take our turns and shifts for continuing all of her care. We have no outside help of any kind and of course my mother is blind, diabetic, and cannot walk besides having advanced Alzheimer's and living in a quiet fog 90% of the time.

It's all very challenging but we somehow manage....some of us kick and scream and others just do it. I tend to do both....but most of my kicking and screaming is done politely behind closed doors. Too many people have already offered to make me quilted and padded white jackets as it is. And to be very honest, I look awful in white.

I'm bringing this little quilt with me and several 'almost ready to go' AAQI priority quilts for registration and mailing from up there, I updated my web album on Sunday with recent photos for future posts, and even got a couple of posts written in advance!

I have some wonderful photos to show you of the amazing JeanWell's quilts and quilting from last Thursday, some secrets I learned about her/and from her/ and many more adventures I am sure will happen en route.

Say a prayer for me as I am flying off on Tuesday at 8 am...I'm the one who has to change airplanes 3 times just to get one that is deemed fit to take off from the runway and I don't want to spend my average if 3.5 hours of sleep a night in an airport filled with bright lights and no soft places to lay on!

Maybe that's why I always make sure I have a quilt in my carry-on bag...just in case I need it, myself! It might be a bed, it might be a cover, it might be a parachute, and it might help me out as part of the 'sandwich' generation. If I'm the cheese in the sandwich, then I definitely want quilts on either side of me for my buffer zone!

Douglas Island, Alaska...here I come again...ready or not...Surprise! I'm "it" once again!

Apr 1, 2011

Truth or Dare?


1. A psychic asked for my help in exorcising a ghost from a famous NYC hotel.
2.When I was 9 months pregnant with my second child I weighed 117 lbs.
3. I once fell out of a canoe in a freezing lake in Alaska and almost drowned.
4. I have lived with my parents for a combined total of 3 years out of the past 8.
5. I have a double baptism..one Catholic, one Protestant.
6. I taught three classes at OSU when I was an undergrad myself.
7. I have written a 419 page book on energy healing.
8. I had a total stranger describe her life in a mental hospital for 1 hour.
9. I average 3.5 hours of sleep per night.
10. I have been on TV 4 times, the radio 36, and had my photo in the Salem newspaper 6 times.
11. Three psychiatrists have asked me for help with their children.
12. The Alzheimer's Art Quilt Initiative auction begins today and runs for 10 days.
13. I have received 3 phone calls from the State Penitentiary asking for rides home.
14. I received a phone call at 3 am from a woman screaming at me for having an affair with her 19 year old son. I told her I was 45, had 3 kids and a husband, and was too tired to have an affair with any one much less her 19 year old son.
15. I have an exaggerated imagination and love to tell and embellish stories with great detail.

Which of the above is my April Fool's? 1-15, all, none?

Truth or Dare?
I dare you to do the same ;)

shown above:
My blocks from the 9 hours I spent with Jean Wells this week.