Saturday, July 24, 2010

Wrap It Up: Living on the Edge of Many Lives


As I continually transition between Alaska and Oregon, Oregon and Alaska, I can't help but reflect on the very act and meaning of change and transformation.

Living on the edge has become almost a way of life for me. Constantly juggling time and space, activity and rest, giving and receiving back again, has taught me so very much about why I make the choices that I make, and made me realize how important the small things we take for granted, truly are.

I don't think it's an accident, that selvages and the use of them, has catapulted to the forefront of both small and large sewing and quilting projects over the past few years. To me, it just is symbolic of how each of us is trying to learn to use, reuse, make do, and appreciate all of the tiny cast off parts of our lives and bring them back into the fold of appreciation once again.

So, with that in mind, I don my simple little selvage wristlet, suddenly back in my Oregon home again, and dream about getting back into my quilting life once again.

I was called down to Juneau from the family wedding in Anchorage, because my mother's doctor was afraid she was getting ready to throw one, if not more, blood clots. My dad is suffering from congestive heart failure and both are aging and in between their own worlds right now.

In spite of her Alzheimer's my mother continues to know me and accept my sudden and often unexpected presence. She greets me by name and tells me she's happy I'm there. That she can go from an almost comatose state of continual sleep to one of being awake with me is such a gift. When 'awake' she still has the most amazing sense of zany humor and we actually talked one day for almost an hour...unbelievable!

I help with her care, as I can, I am there for my father in all ways, and I try my best to not only catalyze change and transformation with my natural energy gifts in family, but I seek to also find peace and balance in such a hard place, within me, as well. I do what I need to do for as long as I need to immediately do it..then move forward, if possible.

Now, I'm back in Oregon getting ready for an open house at the award winning home that my husband and son built (the very first certified Passive House on the Pacific coast) and trying to adjust and balance my own busy and often scattered life. I'm on always on the edge between my own worlds and ready to move old energies into new ones of change and transformation.

I do what I can to make a difference in one world and then move on to the next. To me, that is the very meaning of living (and healing) on the edge of life.

shown above:
my selvage cuff made after my last return from Juneau to warm and protect me from alien encounters

links:
Living Green

6 comments:

  1. Wisdom...what wisdom I hear throughout this entire entry. You touched my core! Blessings!!!

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  2. *hugs* Make sure to take care of yourself! Lots of "You time".

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  3. Michele, what an amazing woman, daughter, wife, mother, caregiver you are! I agree with Cheri (above)about your wisdom. Finding sanity and balance during so many challenges! Take care of you...
    Congrats to your men on the certification of your house. Good luck with the open house. Quite a feather in your caps!
    Love the cuff! How the 'alien' wrist doing?
    Hugs, Barb

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  4. Take care dear lady...my brother in law was just put into an Alzheimer's home....he no longer remembers my sister all the time...so sad. I know she treasures those good moments like you do.

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  5. My husband has dementia, so really I understand how sad it is to see intelligent and lovely people stricken by this brain disease. Keep up the good work.

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  6. What a powerful piece of understanding. The quest for balance in care taking and self care, elusive but so necessary. Sometimes just seeing the gift of a moment can mean the difference. Thank you for sharing. Your house is just beautiful!

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Michele Bilyeu blogs "With Heart and Hands" as she journeys between Douglas, Alaska and Salem, Oregon.