Today, is my last day in my beautiful home state of Alaska. I have packed my bags, helped prepare a last big family dinner and spent endless... but never, ever enough... time with my 90 year old Father and 82 year old Mother. Now, it is time to fly south. Time to leave these dear people that I love so much and go back to Salem, Oregon where I have now lived.....for more years there.... than here.
Leaving here is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever asked myself to do. There is no knowing of what the future holds.... or when, or if.... I will see these dear parents of mine, again. I am up in the night and I am crying. I have been here for three weeks, now and the good Lord willing, I shall be back in their lifetimes' again. It is very, very hard to say goodbye.
Today, my last day 'home'. I shall just spend it with them. I have made sure to have my belongings back in my suitcases yesterday, so that I would not have to spend all day with the packing and weighing of them, today. I got up in the night and started the last three loads of laundry, the last dishwasher full of dirty dishes, got the pots and pans to not be falling all over the place like Fibber McGee's closet...all of the things that I can only do to help before I leave. I do what I know how to do, and lots of it, the rest is up to the family that I leave behind, here in Douglas.
I am hoping my suitcases are under, and not over the regulated weight, knowing that it is my heart that is too heavy....... and no amount of re-arranging.... save love.... can remedy that. So, today, I shall just love. Love and be loved. Try as hard as I can, through aching heart and tear stained face..... to fill them.... and this house.... and myself..... with love.